'Til it shines

Carrying on with the green thing...since when did the cleaners beneath the kitchen counter qualify as an EPA designated bio-hazard?  Take a look: but do they have clean homes?

Again,  it seems like I missed the train to the happy green valley of the Domestic Domain once again, not only am I gassing us with the fumes from my nonstick cook wear, I am killing us and the eco-sphere with our super white bleached kitchen floor.  I don't know,but I like the smell of bleach--brings back childhood memories of my mother's super clean home...that, and, yum, Pine Sol.   Actually, it was more like this:  Upon coming home from school, if I was met with the scent of Pine Sol, I knew my mom was utterly disgusted by the fact that she had spawned the sloppiest children on earth.  Oops! I forgot not to leave the open peanut butter jar in the livingroom--never mind that eating outside the kitchen was absolutely forbidden.  Damn!  I was entering the house of doom.  At least, it smelled  clean. 

I have tried the green cleaners.  I have even used household vinegar and baking soda.  No go, they don't replicate, for me, the degree of cleanliness that I am targeting.  I mean, I hate housework, so, if I am going to clean, dammit, it's going to get clean! There is something slightly passive aggressive here, I know.  But think about it, if you don't need a pair of rubber gloves to use it, can it really clean tile grout?

Our kitchen and bathroom are floored with that wonderful cheap apartment vinyl floor covering that, I think is older than me.  This floor covering was designed by a man, for no woman would ever incorporate light gray streaks into its color scheme (or lack of color scheme--a beigy off-white doesn't count as coloring).   Not only was the designer a man--he had issues with his mother.  Trust me.  She was probably horribly strict about clean floors.  He, no doubt, scuffed one of her floors, or dropped a glass of grape juice on her pristine WHITE kitchen floor. For which, he was not only spanked, but forced to drink his grape juice alone in the dark basement thereafter.

His revenge?  A floor that never looks clean.  Never.  When we first moved in, I scrubbed, I sprayed, nothing would remove those gray streaks--until I had that doh! moment level epiphany:  they're part of the design!  Still, the floors need frequent cleaning or the gray streaks become more gray. So what to do?

Our kitchen is so small that I can touch both opposing walls without stretching--I am 5'2 so you see, it is small.  If you open the oven, there can't be 2 people in the room.  Reminds me of my hotel room in Paris, where to open my suitcase, I had to open the door to the room or stand on the bed.  The kitchen is amazingly petite.  Thus, the floor is only about 6 ft by 2 ft.  The bathroom?  A little smaller.  It's not a room for more than one person or cat at a time.

Cleaning these tiny patches of dingy vinyl is a logistic challenge.  A full mop is overkill.  Those new Swifter thingies are too big to get into corners.  So, here's what I do--this is so retro--I don my hot pink rubber gloves, fill a bucket with very hot water and 1/2 a cup of good ol' Clorox and get on all fours and have at the floor with a sponge and towel.   Not only is this a cool workout,  my floors are amazingly clean.  There is even the hint of a shine on a sunny day...just a hint.

This is  what we didn't eat last night.    Actually, we had the leftover brown rice and kale.  I added tofu meatballs we picked up at the Farmers Market.  Don't make that face. Tofu is wonderful--I am exploring recipes for MY OWN tofu meat nalls and will post when I find a good one.  'Til then...try this one, we had it about a month ago.  A definite staple in my repetoire:

Greek Hamburger and Garbanzo Pittas

2 large tbl olive oil
1/2 onion
1 lb hamburger
1 or 2 cans of garbanzo beans (drained)
1 cup or so of red wine
2 tbl tomato paste
2  tbl cumin
1 garlic clove
1 tsp oregano
 
1. Chop & saute the onion and garlic in the oil
2.  As the onions soften add the cumin--when you cook the cumin,  the flavor literally explodes--stir it around 'til you get a paste...add more if you like...yes! Add the oregano.
3. When you can smell the cumin, add the beef...break it up to cook
4. Add the beans
5.  Stir in the tomato paste, stirring to coat the beans and meat.
6.  Add the wine and cook until the sauce thickens--about 7-10 mins.

Serve on pita bread with plain yogurt (I like Greek yogurt--Trader Joes--add a chopped and seeded cucumber and some dill).

Toss it now!

One thing I have noticed about living in a small apartment is that our living arrangements are not unique.  I would estimate that 90% of the world's home dwellers live in less than 1,000 square feet of space. Apartments in Brooklyn are teenie, Paris? Closet-size...and without closets!  Most urban apartments are small.  Our apartment consists of 600 square feet.  Within its walls live 2 adults, 2 very vocal cats, an abundance of books (mine), a flat screen tv (DH's) and various forms of domestic detritus, that if left to their own wanton ways,would breed like rabbits left alone in a Viagra (Cialis?) factory.  I am the ruthless bunny basher, constantly weeding and tossing throughout the day.  In honest truth, I don't weed and toss daily. Fits of absolute neatness are more likely subject to short spurts determined by when the mood strikes.  Cleaning and organizing--I mean, cleaning down to the floorboards-type of cleaning is akin to catching a virus.  I need to feel that slight itch in the back of my throat, the slight elevation in temperature, the narrowing of my field of vision, to the point where I break out the black trash bags, my leopard print rubber gloves and my Rubbermaid tote basket that contains my arsenal: sponges designated to room (neatly contained in their own Ziploc bag, thank you), a bottle  of Pine Sol and various cans and spray bottles of enough toxins to level a small town. (Why yes, I saw how to do this on the Martha Stewart show).  In sum, when this urge to clean hits, like the a serious head cold, you just have to yield to it.  Once in a while, I can wait it out, sit still on the sofa...and wait for it to pass and, trust me, it will pass.  But more often than not, a smudged fingerprint on the glass door to the balcony, or DH's dried drizzle of strawberry jam left on the kitchen counter will trigger the symptoms all over again.  More than likely, it occurs when I can't find the one eyeliner on the bathroom counter when I know damn well it was there a week ago.

Living in a small space requires an amazing degree of discipline in all facets of domestic bliss.  This is the paradox of human nature.  I mean, if most apartments, condos and mud huts are tighter than 1,000 square feet, there should be no such thing as war--though, I am amazed that the rate of homicide isn't higher than it is. Sometimes, I am utterly amazed that husbands aren't protected by Green Peace...I keep looking to see if DH has an ear tag before I point out that socks left out in the living room is punishable by death in some third world countries.

The most difficult thing about weeding and tossing is the unbelievable, I mean, really daunting critical thinking skills that are required.  For example, my last bout of weeding and tossing took place in my closet (our apartment is weird, short on actual living space such as actual rooms, but we have a preponderance of closets).  In my defense, my closet also contains a bank 5 large deep shelves, that should hold all of my handbags, but alas, serve as a linen closet.

I pulled out all of the crayon-colored bath towels I bought soon after I got married.  Our world was going to be bright and forever cheerful!!  In reality, most had become stained with hair color -- damn those roots! or faded from excess washing.  Alas, they look as if they belonged to a clown ready for retirement. Or a clown who committed a murder and is trying to hide the evidence--auburn hair color can look gruesome.

So, I replaced everything with a pristine white set that I had purchased when I was single and going through my minimalist phase.  Oooh...everything is new and tidy.

But what to do with the old stuff?  If DH has his way, we'd keep them in his closet for cleaning rags  How does weeding and organizing equate to shifting contents of one closet to another?  I can't believe we actually argued over this.  "We need towels for when I wash the  car!"  Ah,good wife skills are called for with reasoning like that.  I mean, do I point out that he goes through a drive-thru car wash and that by city ordinance, washing one's car at home, where one might indeed use old, faded towels is banned to say nothing of being eco-uncool?   Or do I concede and compromise?  I let DH keep 2 faded purple bath towels.

I figured I'd use them when my roots needed touching up.

Oh for lunch today, I made a pizza.

I used the dough in a tube by Pillsbury--the extra thin crust--hey, hey, hey, it was pretty decent.

Here's what I did:

1 can of tomato paste
1 tube of Pillsbury thin crust pizza dough
olive oil
1 Tbl oregano
1minced clove of garlic
red pepper flakes
3 medium tomatoes sliced --heirloom if ya got 'em.
sliced provolone cheese or mozzarella
crumbled feta
sliced soprasetta or salami

• Unfurl the pizza dough onto a baking sheet--to keep it from puffing, randomly prick the surface with a fork
• spread the dough with a thin coat of olive oil--use a pastry brush
• spread the tomato paste on top of the oiled surface
• sprinkle with oregano and red pepper flakes and garlic
• cover surface with the sliced tomatoes
  
• cover surface with the sliced provolone or mozzarella
  
• add the sliced sopresseta or salami
• sprinkle with the Feta
• Sprinkle with Parmesan
  

Bake according to directions, pour a glass of Shiraz and enjoy!